Nowadays, in our daily life, we are using english language to communicate with each others...Besides this, we also using english language for presentation, interview, treating somethings in other countries and so on.
The communication invloves three components, that is verbal, nonverbal and paraverbal components. These components are used to send clear, concise message. In addition, these three components also used to recieve and correctly understand message sent to us.
Verbal~ the words we choose Nonverbal~ our body language Paraverbal~ how we say the words
Communication skills consist of 2 messages that is sending and receiving messages.
SENDING MESSAGE
Verbal message
One use of language has tremendous power in the type of atmosphere that's created at the problem-sloving table. Words that are judgmental, critical, accusatory and blaming tend to create a resistence and defensive mindset that is not conductive to productive probelm solving. Besides this, we can choose those words that normalize the issues and problem as well as reduce resistence. Lengthy dissertation and circutous explanations and confusing to the listener and the message loses its concreteness, relevance and impact. All of this are our opportunity to help the listener understand what are we perspective and our point of view. We have to choose the words with the intent of making our message as clear as possible, avoiding jargon and unnecessary, tangential information. Effective verbal messages are brief, succienct and organized. In addition, do not create resistence in the lestener and free of jargon also are the effective verbal messages.
Nonverbal message The power of nonverbal message communication cannot be undererstimated by everyone. In Professor Albert Mehrabian, this nonverbal message known as silent message. This nonverbal message we send via our posture, gestures and facial expression. Nonverbal messages are conveyed via posture, gestures and facial expression. Through this nonverbal messages, 55% of what is percieved and understood by everyone.
Nonverbal messages are the primary ways that we communication emotions~
Facial expression when we are communicating with friends or someone else, the face is perhaps the most conveyor of emotional information. A face can light up with energy, approval, boredom, enthusiasm, confusion and scowl with displeasure. The eyes are particularly expressive in joy, anger, sadness or confusion.
Posture and gestures expression our body postures can create a feeling of warm openness or cold rejection. For example, when someone else faces us, sitting quietly with hands loosely folded in the lap, a feeling of articipation and interest is created. A posture of arms crossed on the chest portrays a feeling of inflexibility. The action of gathering up one's materials and reaching for a purse signals a desire to end the conversation.
Paraverbal message This refers to the messages that we transmit through the pitch, tone and packing of our voices. It is how we say somethings, not what we say. A sentence can convey entirely different meanings depending on the emphasis on words and the tone of voice. Few points we have to remember about our paraverbal communication that's when we are happy or angry, our speech tends to become more repid and higher pitched. On the other hands, when we're bored or feeling down, our speed tends to become slowly and take on a monotone quality. Besides this, when we are feeling defensive, our speech is often abrupt.
RECEIVING MESSAGE
The key to receiving messages effectively is listening. Beside this, giving full physical attention to the speaker, being aware of the speaker nonverbal messages and paying attention to the words and feeling.
Listening is a combination of hearing what another person says and psychological involment with the person who is talking. Listening requires more than hearing words. It requires a desire to understand another human being, an attitude of respect and acceptence and a willingness to open one's mind to try and see things from another's point of view.
Giving full physical attention to the speaker Attending is the art and skill of giving full, physical attention to another person. According Robert Bolton(Ph.D)'s book, it refers to as "listening with the whole body". Effective attending is a careful balance of alertness and relaxation that includes appropiate body movement, eye contact and posture.
WE create a POSTURE of involvement by~
*learning gently towards the speaker *facing the other person squarely *maintaining an open posture with arms and legs uncrossed *maintaining an appropriate distance between us and the speaker *moving our bodies in responce to the speaker
Being aware of the speaker is nonverbal messsages we have to pay fully attention to a speaker's body language so that we could gain inside into how that person is feeling as well as the intensity of the feeling. Through careful attention to body language and paraverbal messages, we are able to develop hunches about what the speaker is communicating. After that, we can through our reflective listening skills, check the accurarcy of those hunches by expressing in our impression of what is being communicated.
Paying attention to the words and feelings In order to understand the total meaning of a message that the speaker speaks, we must able to gain understanding about both the feeling and the content of the message. We are more comfortable dealing with the content rather than the feelings, when the feelings are intense. Our tendency is to try and ignore the emotional aspect of the message and move directly to the substance of the issues. It may be necessary to deal directly with the relatonship problem by openly acknowledging and naming the feelings and discussing about them prior to moving into the issues. If we leave the emotional aspect unaddressed, we may risk missing important information about the problem as well as derailing the communication process.
Whole world, we don't care what type of people, we have to communicate with them...So, now we have to improve our communication skills to "fight" for our future...^^
